Frustration

   

Over the past few weeks, Mr Guthrie commenced a correspondence with several people. The circumstances were such:


          Mr Guthrie first contacted the University of Liverpool's student magazine "Ellipsis" and submitted four poems which he believed to be outstanding works (and perhaps some of his best) loosely based on the theme of "Home". He was rejected outright by the editors.

          Mr Guthrie submitted five pages of poetry to "Erbacce Poetry Prize"and five different pages of poetry to "Erbacce Poetry Magazine" and was told that the second submission did not adhere to the submission guidelines (an oversight which he believes that he rectified soon after).
          Mr Guthrie then submitted the poem "Broadchurch Revealed" to Poetry24 (a reputable news and current affairs-related poetry site which has published previous work of Mr Guthrie) under appropriate guidelines. His original e-mail was such:

Dear Poetry24 team,

Thank you for your time perusing this piece. If I could just say quickly, I think your first reaction may be to reject the piece as it can be first seen as random, uncohesive and perhaps even too personal to justify the "news story" badge. However, I would like to say in its defence that I have paid great attention to detail on this work (as I like to think I always do) - and although this has a very, modernist, free-verse style, I also write within the strict structures of forms such as heroic couplet, villanelle and sonnet and I believe my free verse pieces are all, to some degree, influenced by this.
I guess, what I'm trying to say is, the more you look at it, the more it should morph into the opposite of what it first appears to be: as opposed to "uncohesive" I would argue that it is actually hyper-cohesive, as opposed to random and quickly penned, I argue that the words are in fact chosen meticulously for their relationship to one another and that "current affairs" are reflected greatly in the piece. The main idea is to reveal the juxtaposition between modern disposable entertainment and our own private thoughts which are consistently more complex and unique and often of a sublime or biblical magnitude.
Unfortunately, I feel I may have put you off even more now, but am just trying to stand by my work and highlight merits which may not at first be apparent.
Either way, thank you and all the best.

Attached is my own photo which I have the rights to which I would leave to your discretion whether to use or not.





          The next day, Mr Guthrie partook of libations within his family home and sent the following e-mail to the Poetry24 editors. 

Dear Poetry24 Team,

I have a pretty good idea that you have a mind to reject my poem, "Broadchurch Revealed".
I just want to say one last thing, whether it is accepted or not. Read out, aloud, at your computer, the last six published poems on your site - to yourself, of course - have a fag, or a glass of wine, or whatever it is you do, then read out loud my poem - confidently. Please do me this favour of reading my poem aloud.
Bearing in mind that no-one has ever recognised my work, I am poor and have a terrible haircut and three children to support, tell me which is the most powerful piece, personally and honestly.
And then tell me if you will not answer to a Higher Power and burn in Hell for the neglect you are guilty of if you refuse to acknowledge my work.

Best regards and fingers crossed,
Craig.
(PS - I hope we all find hyperbole amusing)

          His submission was rejected on the grounds that "it wasn't suited to us".

          The next day Mr Guthrie wrote to the Birkenhead Press imprint "Appin Press" declaring that they should "keep their finger on the pulse" by being aware of the "very best" current literature being written in their local area at this time. He sent the link to "Diary of an Obnoxious Sociophobe" and challenged the company not to finish what had already been written - to which, Mr Guthrie has, to date, received no reply.
          Mr Guthrie then posted a humble entry on a local poetry group's Facebook page "The Dead Good Poets Society" regarding his site "Satan is Biting My Ankle" and was promptly insulted by what appeared to be a very child-like brain, which managed to post some infantile rhyme regarding self-promotion and declare that the page was for "poems only". The sight of this reply caused Mr Guthrie to immediately leave the group in the knowledge that he was unqualified to deal with people with such severe psychological and social difficulties. 
          We acknowledge that the case against Mr Guthrie by the family of Ms Parker in no way relates to the case pending against Mr Guthrie by the Crown.
         Mr Guthrie would like to re-iterate that he has no affiliation with any group, does not subscribe to any pre-ordained philosophical theory and will be glad to be held accountable for his actions should any body of men prove themselves worthy of judging them. He maintains that "all my work is shit" and goes on record as saying "it is all utter nonsense, however, I rarely repeat myself and it's all hugely entertaining." - Literary Underworld, 2013.
          Mr Guthrie is now under the protection of a local psychiatric unit and will be unavailable to comment until further notice.

Glaffort & Gladstone, Solicitors at Law.